Felicity has started resorting to temper tantrums a lot to communicate the intensity of her fickle desires. So the last few days I've been working on communicating with her better and teaching her more peaceful, appropriate ways to express her desires. You know, as opposed to rewarding and thus encouraging the tantrums. She has a tendency to try to appease rather than deal with conflict, though, at least when it comes to dealing with me, and so she'll say, "Okay" or "yes" rather than actually listen to what I'm telling her. Sometimes I just don't know how much she understands at two and a half. Obviously she is still responsible for clearly delineated choices even if she doesn't fully understand my reasoning, but I do wonder a bit how much to push certain things before she expresses genuine understanding.
Of course, Mary's safety is a relatively significant concern, so I guess I can be pretty firm on matters relating to that. ;-) Seeing as it is, after all, my responsibility to ensure my children's safety, that area seems pretty straightforward. But pushing the issue on how she requests food, how compliant she is when it's bedtime, etc. is sometimes less clear to me. I don't want perfect compliance to be the primary goal; I want to instruct her conscience but ultimately point her to God and to personal responsibility. I want her to be able to express her opinions (preferably politely) even if ultimately she doesn't get her way; if she can make a convincing case, though, I'll grant her wishes. :-)
And as for Mary, well, she is in many ways a very different child from Felicity. In some ways she's more laid back, but in others she's crazy. She's extremely stubborn about things that are super important to her, but she prioritizes very well. I mean, she lets a lot of things go and I can see it on her face, "Eh, well, whatever." But there are a few things that she will throw fits about and she gets really feisty with those fits. :-P Diaper changes are one of the big challenges of our day. I use our bathroom counter for changing diapers and of course the sink is right there (conveniently located for washing my hands), just within Mary's reach. She insists on being able to turn the water off and on while I change her diaper. If she's not distracted that way, she'll be distracted by trying to get to where she can play with the water, meaning she'll twist around and get up and turn completely over and pretty much do anything just to get to the sink. She's very strong and very determined, which makes changing dirty diapers somewhat exciting. ;-) Anyway...fingernail trimming is another fun task with her. :-P She screams bloody murder and tries very hard to get her hands and whole body away from me. :sigh:
So I think right now I have about seven of her fingernails clipped...
All that being said, having two toddlers is still ever so much easier than having a toddler and a newborn. I have so much more energy. They occupy themselves so much better (albeit more dangerously and with many more ways to get into mischief).
And there are perks, too...
Like this morning, I dumped a load of towels and wash cloths on the couch and then sat down to nurse Mary. I looked up to see Felicity eagerly attacking the pile of laundry and folding each wash cloth meticulously. She also keeps pretty close tabs on Mary while I do stuff around the house and lets me know if Mary is breaking any rules (like climbing up on furniture, pulling stuff off shelves and out of cabinets, and so on) or doing anything unsafe.
Felicity also knows how to clean and is more than happy to wipe stuff down anytime she has the opportunity (she's obsessed with water, too).
Mary is fully mobile and so requires a lot less attention from me and she can also be pacified (at least to some degree) with food.
So yeah...life is still lots easier now. :-D
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